![]() ![]() These puppets are too realistic to be fake, but too fake to be real. If memory serves me correctly, I didn't leave my bed for years after this because I was terrified these monsters lived under it. The voice work sounds menacing across the board, but the real terror comes from the puppets themselves. The Dark Crystal was well beyond its time when it comes to its technical aspects, but the problem here is that this film is just too throughly, terrifyingly '80s. Actually, here's a picture because words can't fully capture it. This is important because at this point, the planet of Thra is currently being ruled by the evil Skeksis, a race of creatures that look a bit like the cast of Dinosaurs, if you put them in the microwave on defrost. To catch you up, Jen, a muppet baby with mouse ears and Carly Rae Jepsen's haircut, is sent out into the world to retrieve a shard of crystal that will restore balance to the universe. The original, branded as a Jim Henson puppet feature, was inappropriately marketed to kids as a children's film. Some parents feel the need to protect their children from the mature nature of violence or sexual content, but heed these words: The real threat is puppets.Īfter Netflix announced a series based on the world of The Dark Crystal, I decided to return to the film because I'd managed to block out that film from my waking memory. That strange criteria is how I was able to sneak by and watch Jim Henson's The Dark Crystal, a 1982 live action puppet film that will haunt the very essence of your being. I was allowed to watch most R-rated films, but not Will & Grace-the world of parental supervision was a Wild West situation in my house. When I was a kid, my parents had very strange rules about what I could and couldn't watch on television. ![]()
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